No tears today!


It has been an awesome month at the gym. I know I'm getting stronger. and more stable on my feet.  The ankle is still healing, and the knee is still unstable, but I'm on my way.   I know there are some things I will never be able to do again, and I think I'm ok with that.  I keep asking more of my broken body, my instructors are gently guiding and pushing me, and I know I have the support I need to persevere. 

Without question this is going to be a long process, and I don't know if the end result is going to help me achieve my ultimate goal, so I'm trying to focus on the here and now.  Every day I go to HealthQuest I do a class, some days two classes, and I keep trying to add more challenging ones. I'm nowhere near ready to go crazy in a Zumba class, or do heavy weights, but every time I challenge myself, I find I can do the movements with less floundering about looking like a fish out of water.

This blog is definitely aptly named as there have been so many tears shed over this month, but the truth is they aren't sad tears.  Mostly cathartic, and maybe, just maybe a few of them are woeful tears when I just can't do something I used to do.  Today, I accomplished a goal (sort of), legs were for the most part folded at the end of the Pilates Barre Blend class, and I couldn't have been prouder of myself. I smiled like the little schoolgirl I felt like.

Last week I ran into my yoga instructor after class at the grocery store and she gave me a much needed hug as the tears were hard to hide. Today, the barre instructor Christine, asked at the beginning of class if we had any requests, and I politely asked that she didn't make me cry today.  Her reply was "What's wrong with tears?  Happy tears; tears of Joy, ok?"  How could I say no?  She was right by the way.  So many tears this month and every one was worth it!  

I ended the class with a hint of teary-eyed gratitude.  Definitely a good day at the gym and NO tears actually hit the mat today.  Sweat, yes, tears, no! It was definitely a very happy day.

Just so you know... the end goal is to be able to ride my beautiful mare without pain.... We shall see where this journey takes us!

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